THE CHANGE

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The change had its onset a few days back, but not the way I wanted it to be, revolution? Bring it on.

I still had an anger outburst in the morning, reasonable though it was, was controllable, is it right to assume that the words you say while angry give you a better look of the inside of your mind, I had never actually said something in my anger which I had not meant in reality, I always do, we always do, it’s just that those weird true thoughts are just to remain with us in our head only, and once we spill them out we just make lame excuses of not meaning them in real blah, who are we kidding?

Well the change I should explain is some degree of devotion to my obligatory prayers, some means only 4 for now, since I am still not afraid enough to wake up at 5 in the morning, so I make up for it through kaza, which I know won’t be sufficient for Jannat (Paradise Al Firdous to be exact) and I might have to do something quickly about it before it’s too late. I fear that this test God forbid might turn up like our school and university ones, where we study to pass just the day before. Since excellence could only be achieved through consistency, in here and the hereafter.

Here and the hereafter? To achieve jannat Al Firdous I believe we should not prioritize here over the hereafter. Just look at the hereafter and Allah surely will take care of the here. I read once that Hazrat Suleman was asked to choose between the kingdom and the knowledge, he chose knowledge and Allah gave him a kingdom such that never existed before and would never exist till the day of judgement, not to mention he also got immense and unbeatable knowledge.

So the main starting point for me is declaring jehad e akbar against my Nafs;

The faults in me I have to declare jehad-e-akbar  against;

1.       Not offering all prayers on time.

2.       Backbiting

3.       Making fun of peoples looks and faults behind their back with friend and family

4.       Finding faults with people, which aunty hides her age, which aunty hides their children’s age

5.       Finding some qualifications and degrees inferior

6.       Being jealous

7.       Think of food all the time

8.       Stop eating when half full

9.       Observe Silah Rehmi

10.   Thank Allah always

11.   Stop stalking people on facebook

12.   Stop using Facebook altogether.

This is just for now on. I’ll keep myself under strict observation…