THE MOMENT, YOU OWN IT, YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO: Delusion

I woke up early again, thanks to this another nightmare. Yes nightmares, they have always been an integral part of my entire existence, giving scary warnings as I always took them to be or now I think it may be the part in me that sets itself free when I am not controlling it, fear I guess is that small part, which gets dominant whenever it isn’t tightly in control of my ego or the desire of being entirely fearless, not giving a damn type but never actually succeeding in building in this trait in me, traits as I said; may be you are only born with them and can never imprint your soul with the chosen quality you want. This is all just so complicated, I am standing at a point in life where I am skeptical to such heights of insanity you cannot dream of, restless I get as a result of my madness of thinking everything to such depths that I tend to forget where I began from. I want to believe and lead life with the “life is simple” simplicity, but I cannot, and this I know has always resulted in trouble for me, my failure to make people understand me and my overconfidence at my ability to understand everything, wrong? I know I am L and there isn’t anything I can do about it or seek some help because you don’t know why I am thinking what I am thinking and those who do would definitely pretend not to understand, because like I told you I am highly confident of the ability to literally look in to your eyes and see through your soul, which you don’t like I know it and since it cannot Xerox your soul as an evidence you would just prefer to lie that I don’t understand and sigh its ok I don’t mind all your lies.

But today waking up early might be the sleep clock shift since been getting up early from the past few days, forced myself to sleep for another 3 hours and now fatigued as hell.