Not so long ago I had been a girl who used to wait for every political conference to be aired, loved keeping track of all the political moves and the parties, literally knew of every new announcement even before daddy comes to know of, loved defending my point of view from friends to teachers to anyone who cared to argue. Knew our politicians the scandals, had heroes, inspirations, burning hatred for the cheats the loots. It wasn’t limited to the country; national, international even had strong opinions pertaining to the morning show hosts, in short aspiring journalism.
And now a person who would only read fiction, Google funny articles and chitchat with friends on the new fashion trends and makeup, you can say from an intellect to just a down rite stupid and dumb girl, who got to know that Maya khan has been fired after 12 hours when a friend thought of bitching about the episode and was shocked to found out that I didn’t even know, the caring soul even forwarded me the link and damn I wasn’t even interested in opening it, who even cares who the crazy woman is after for the publicity stunt, she is too ‘paindu’ to grab my interest on the first place unless she catches me going against her new moral code of ethics.
Well the point is, I no longer care what the other is suffering from unless in affects me individually and I am not alone so you cannot blame me, why should I keep track of the bomb blasts and that another Swiss account scandal and get blood pressure over the tax refund I won’t be getting anyway. Staying updated sounds highly intellectual but not at the expense of the helpless feeling it gave me, you can say I have given up, I simply do not have the guts to go out change or even raise my voice, no one would listen, no one would support so why just why should I cry and have sleepless nights over the suffering of a young girl I cannot go out and help.
What I do instead now is; pray silently not for the individual who gives me sleepless nights but for every one, praying that they never get to bear what the ones before them did. And yes not knowing about the situation doesn’t affect the intensity of my prayers because deep down I am aware of what’s going on despite shutting my eyes to the world.
by the look of things, your heart is desperately screaming to be part of a change. To bring a change, for starters, you should do community service.
ReplyDeleteI did community service in dar-ul-sukoon for 2-3 months during my PAF days. And first time in life I felt k im making a difference. That feeling of helping physically disabled and mentally retarded children is unique, can't be expressed in words.
Haan in a political sense it makes no difference but something is better than nothing :) And helping the helpless does give you a unique sense of happiness.
and that helpless feeling you talking about. That gets killed to an extent when you do small acts of kindness for those who are unable to help themselves.
ReplyDeletehad i read you comment the day i wrote this post i wouldn't have agreed with you, but since i am over that phase, you are so right, we as individuals might not be strong enough to make a difference but making small contributions do atleast give us some peace :)
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